I realize that whatever God gave us need to be noted as a silent prayer. Or perhaps, should be written somewhere so that when we want something more, we will be reminded on what we already have. Let me give some example:
1. I am already married. ( I should be thankful for that whenever I want my husband to be the man I want him to be, with what he is right now, I'm already better than who I used to be - Alhamdulillah)
2. I have a car. (Granted that my own car is extremely problematic at the moment - errmm, I'm using my husband's car to go to work. I should be thankful that I have that car even though I want a new one. I promise that when I have extra money... of course saving would help me achieve that, I would "renovate" my car and upgrade it to be better - Insya Allah)
3. I have an understanding family. (I have to remember this. I want to have babies and sometimes I feel pressured like I "HAVE" to do this even when there's nobody who actually dictates that to me. I feel like it is my obligation to bear children as a continuity to my lineage - granted whatever my genetics would give to them .... I do hope they don't inherit my laziness)
4. I have a good job (I really have to remember that when I'm lazy and feel so tired everyday from thinking of what to teach tomorrow. I would whine and complain and occasionally cry but if you ask me whether I'm going to quit, I'd answer "Hell, no!" I try to push myself to be better but sometimes, my lack of self-discipline really frustrates me. I wonder if there's a cure for this beside thinking that my performance report would be poor - sometimes even THAT doesn't help.
I always have tonnes to say when I'm wandering around the school. Or walking from my class to the staffroom but when it comes to putting pen to paper or in this case, fingers to keyboard... I find myself to be less dramatic and definitely not witty. Oh well, I've tried.